A Decade Ago

A decade ago, I took a vow.

A decade ago, Lovebug took a vow too.

Before our heavenly Father, our family, and our friends, we said our wedding vows, followed by two finalizing words, “I do”.  Two very simplistic words, but efficacious enough to change our lives forever.

It was a fresh, crisp, leaf-strewn fall day on October 9, 2004, beginning precisely at 6:00 pm located at Cypress Gardens. We were nestled amidst the swamp, and all the wildlife it contained: croaking frogs, thirsty mosquitos, leering alligators, and turtles who endlessly popped up just to say hello.

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It was one of the best days of my life and hands-down the best decision I ever made.

As our journey in holy matrimony began, we ventured through our marriage trying to figure out what “two become one” really means. Many times it came easy for us, but for more often than we’d like to admit,  that verse completely went null and void.  Our goals, visions, and ambitions weren’t always meshed as one, but individualized. It took us some time to finally figure out what the whole “two become one” meant, but we eventually did, and we are thankful for it and our marriage is stronger from it.

If I could give newlyweds any advice, it would be to strive for “becoming one”. Genesis 2:24 tells us, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”  “Becoming one flesh” is more than the obvious physical intimacy, but also an emotional, financial, mental, and most importantly, spiritual connection with one another, and with God. It is losing two separate individual identities and forming one. “My money”, “my career”, “my car”, “my friends/family” is all replaced with “OUR”.   The word “my” should never be used, unless you’re referring to your undergarments.

Your spouse should always remain your best friend; the one who knows everything about you. The one you tell everything to, and not the one you hide everything from. So often, many spouses tremendously fail to communicate with one another. They never know where their spouse is, what they’ve done all day, or what each other are doing. You cannot have a successful marriage without in-depth communication.

Leading individual lives and not a “one flesh” marriage is like an insidious disease. Overtime, it will continue to break down your marriage, forcing one of two outcomes: divorce, or a miserable marriage, one in which you sleep in two separate beds and walk out the door every morning not knowing anything about the other.

Well, that’s all the advice I have for now. A big applause to you if read all the way through!

I would like to close this post by giving a heart-felt “thank-you” to Mr. Danny and Mrs. Mary Hughes. Tim and I received a sweet anniversary card from them today in the mail. In the card, Mr. Danny references the “decade”.  A decade ago since they both attended our wedding and two decades ago since he and Tim “were in the hay fields together bailing hay.”  Such fond memories created.  That sweet note and card from the Hughes means more to Tim and I than they will ever know!

 

Yours truly,

A Ten Year Anniversary Wife

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