Just an Ordinary Dinner Conversation

My husband came home after working a 14 hour day and started telling me how his day went, just like he usually does. He always starts the convo by saying it was just another busy day in the county (as a reminder, Lovebug is a K-9 officer for the local sheriff’s department). He continues on and tells me the order of events of his day.  I’m following along and trying to be attentive. I have heard so many stories about people and what they do, that I too believe that people are absolutely crazy. Not only that, but they also lead very strange lives.

This is almost verbatim how he told me the story.

“So Jen, it happened again. I pulled over a car today for speeding and following too close, and I approached  the passenger side door to begin talking with the driver, a female.  I began smelling this overwhelming odor of marijuana. I tell the female driver to step out of the car. Driver tells me that this is her boyfriend’s car and she has no clue what could be in the car, but does however tell me they both love to smoke marijuana. I search the car and only find marijuana residue. I knew that I was smelling raw marijuana, not burnt marijuana, so I told her the overwhelming smell is way too much for there to be nothing substantial in the car. So I ask the driver if she has any dope on her. She says no but gives several indicators that told me she was lying. So I talked with her a little more, and she finally confesses that she has marijuana on her. When I asked her where it was at, she put her hands down the front of her pants and pulled a bag of marijuana out from her peak-a-choo, a.k.a. private part, a.k.a. not a good place to hide drugs.”

Again, none of this is too alarming for me. I’ve been married to a cop for 6 1/2 years and have heard pretty much all of it.

I asked Lovebug if he even used Eiko, his K-9 partner. He said no. I’ve already told him a million times that I do not understand why he even has a drug sniffing dog.

I did find it interesting that this is Lovebug’s second time in about two weeks finding drugs on a female hidden in that certain area. It makes me think…is this a new trend?…is this a conspiracy?…and how and/or why can my husband smell drugs hidden there?

Dear lady who hides her drugs in naughty places,

Why there?



Do you sell or use the drugs that you hide there?

If so, again, really?

Your inquisitive friend,


P.S. I must now go and quarantine my husband, and administer vaccination shots.


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